August 14, 2023

Zach & Sarah Part 1 of 2: When Your Teen Is Withdrawn

This is part one of a two part series with Zach and Sarah. Zach and Sarah are co-parents of two children.

This series focuses on their 16 year old son Andrew who they describe as withdrawn, irritable, and “not engaged in life”. His parents have been struggling to get him to complete tasks related to school, getting a job, and just basic things at home. Leslie helps Zach and Sarah focus on the importance of connecting to Andrew as a foundation to trying to parent him successfully.

11:50 How adolescents who say “no” are asserting independence which is similar to toddlers

15:46 Being a curious alien instead of fixing your child

18:19 Living in your sibling’s shadow

25:30 Dialectic perspective of a situation. Doing mind vs. being mind

28:42 Learning to ride the wave of discomfort

33:51 Looking at your child with a dialectical perspective

Leslie-ism: Slow down and ask yourself what is the cost of the pressure that you may be putting on your child.

Show Note Links:

I appeared as a guest on Slate’s Mom and Dad Are Fighting Podcast in two episodes. In the first episode I join hosts, Zak Rosen and Jamilah Lemieux, and together we help a listener who’s worried that her daughter’s meltdowns might be a sign of depression. In the second episode, Zak and Jamilah start by talking about lessons from therapy and how my podcast, Is My Child A Monster? Is helping make therapy advice and resources more accessible. Together we also help a listener whose kid pulled a disappearing act after a fight during family vacation.  

Credits: Is My Child a Monster is produced by Alletta Cooper, Dale Rubury, and Leslie Cohen-Rubury. Theme music is by L-Ray Music. Public relations is handled by Tink Media. Graphics and Website Design by Brien O’Reilly. by Eric Rubury. A special thanks to everyone who contributes their wisdom and support to make this possible.


[Music: The Wilds Beyond by L-Ray Music]

Transcribed by edited by Eric Rubury

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